


They Would Want You To Live

by Marvel_bitcchh



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Avengers are good bros, Depression, Eating Disorders, Only Happy Endings, Self Confidence Issues, Sleep, idk what else to say, just a whole load of issues, obvs more than avengers too but eh, wholesome stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2020-09-28 20:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20432177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_bitcchh/pseuds/Marvel_bitcchh
Summary: I saw a post saying x character would want you to sleep/eat/take your meds etc. and thought I'd make that for like twenty other characters and also add some kind of depth or plot or whatever. All of these are issues I've personally faced in my life and the stuff I did to help sort out these issues. All of them have happy endings, or at least don't end with the reader in a pit of self pity





	1. Steve Rogers - Eating

You ate. It wasn’t like you starved yourself for days on end. But you supposed you didn’t see the harm in missing some meals if you simply weren’t hungry. You’re body would tell you when it was time to eat, right?

It was common for you to wake up relatively late. You would rarely eat breakfast and you would only have lunch if you were truly hungry. If there was a team dinner, you would eat then, but you would never get seconds and only give yourself a small portion. Arguing that you wanted people like Steve, Bucky and Thor to have enough considering their huge metabolism.

Other times you would just forget. You would admit that sometimes you got hungry at inconvenient times, so just pushed through until you weren’t hungry anymore. But it was fine. If something was wrong, your body would tell you.

The last time you had eaten was a small sandwich for lunch yesterday. Tony had said there would be a team dinner, but this time you felt sick. You felt as if you would throw up if you ingested a single bite. So you let him know you weren’t feeling too well, which wasn’t exactly a lie.

He seemed to accept it and you fell asleep early that night, battling between fighting off the hunger you felt and the nausea from just the idea of eating.

Then the next day came and you still felt the nausea. So you waited and waited until once again, Tony called you up for a team dinner. Having barely left your room all day, he seemed concerned when you told him you weren’t feeling well again

‘Do you want to get checked out, it’s probably ot good for you to not really be eating, especially if you’re ill’

‘No Tony, just thinking about food is making me feel even more sick at the moment’ you replied

‘Well, okay. But if you don’t feel better by tomorrow, i’m makign you got to the medbay and get checked out, got it?’ 

‘Yeah yeah idiot, i’ve got it’ you laughed before hanging up. And that was it, a part of you felt bad, lying and even you knew that what you were doing was kind of unhealthy, but the liuder part of your brain told you to stop worrying and go to sleep.

So you did.

You emerged from your room to grab an apple and some oreos. Probably not the best combo but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You made a show of grabbing the food, even biting into the apple.

‘Good to see you back y/n’ you heard someone, you thought Nat, comment. You only hummed in respoonse through the mouthful of apple as you walked back out.

And this went on. You showed the team that you had grabbed something edible, ususally some kind of fruit. Sometimes you would eat it and sometimes you wouldn’t, but you always told the others you had, and that you had eaten something more substantial later. You tried to make plans during team dinners, or just try and go to sleep, hoping they would let you sleep instead of dragging you to the table.

This went on for almost a month and you noticed yourself getting thinner. Not that this whole not eating thing was ever about that. Sure you saw it as a perk at first, but now you were losing your muscle too, something you needed as an avenger. And it was clear people were starting to notice.

‘Hey why’d no one tell me you guys were sparring today?’ you asked, walking into the gym as the team were in the middle of one of their sparring tournaments. They looked at each other, clearly unsure of what to tell you.

‘We just weren’t sure if you’d be up to it?’ said Tony eventually

‘Guys, i’m fine. I’ve just been working out a lot, guess i’ve been doing more running than weight lifting’ which was true. Running helped clear your head and you had been running like crazy recently

But still no one moved or offered to put you into the matches. This isn’t what you wanted.

‘Guys I’m fine. I can still fight’

‘FRIDAY doesn’t think so’ said Tony, looking you dead in the eye.

‘FRIDAY?’ you asked, confused

‘I am programmed to inform others of issues that may be an issue to your health miss’ she almost sounded apologetic. But you couldn’t say another word, couldn’t even explain, so as calmly as you could, you grabbed your bag and left the gym, heading up to your floor

‘FRIDAY, under no circumstances are you to let anyone onto my floor. They can call me or video chat but unless I say so, no one comes in. Use my override code’

‘Of course miss’ replied the AI. and she stuck to it. No one could get into your room for three days while you survived off the various things you ahd collected duringt he month you’d pretended to eat. They had called you, begged you to let them help, but you thought they had no idea how to help.

They would force you to eat like a regular person and at this point, even having two meals a day made you feel awful. So you couldn’t. Then Steve video called one evening, just before you were going to sleep.

‘Why haven’t you been eating?’ he asked

‘Steve’ you started, about to say everything you’d already told the others, about not wanting their lectures but he stopped you

‘I’m not here to lecture you, I just want to talk, and hear your side of the story’ he said, which stunned you into silence for a few seconds.

‘Honestly, i’m not really sure. Recently it’s just because i feel sick at the mere thought of food. I have no clue why though. But it might have something to do when I was younger. There was rarely food in my house. We weren’t poor or anything, we just didn’t have stuff I could have lunch for example. So I just wouldn’t eat lunch. If I did eat three meals, I would feel greedy, or like I was having too much. Then the distance between meals just got bigger and bigger and that silly logic followed me wherever I went. It’s silly I know, to think doing something healthy is me being greedy-’ but he cut you off

‘Don’t apologise. Don’t apologise for something that isn’t your fault. It’s just a mental block I guess. It’s kinda similar for me actually’ he admitted and you stared at him incredulously 

‘Don’t look at me like that, it’s true’ he laughed. ‘I was skinny and sickly when I was young. I couldn’t have lots of different food and I couldn’t have much either. I was under a strict diet which consisted mostly of soup. I’d say it was hell, but my ma made the best chicken and tomato soup you’d ever tasted in your whole life’ he said, staring off as he remembered the memories he had with her

‘Then I got like this. It was easy enough back in the 40’s but when I came back out, well by then there was deep fried everything and food from countries I didn’t even know existed. For me, the healthy thing would be to eat a ton, because that’s what I needed. But I couldn’t get out of my mindset’

‘So how did you, overcome it?’ you asked desperately

‘I didn’t’ he said simply.

You stared at him, confused.

‘I just decided to make a second voice in my head that controls my actions. That one tells me to eat, even when i think I don’t need to. The other voice still goes off all the time, and it’s difficult sometimes, but what I learned is that you just need to take it one meal at a time. I’m in my floors kitchen and i’ve made some penne pasta for you. There’ some tomato sauce here too for flavour but only if you want it. it’s not ma’s chicken and tomato soup, but it’s kinda plain and small. A good starting point. Come up here and have a bit, for me?’ he pleaded and you began to feel the nausea bubbling again

‘I don’t know if I can’ you said meekly. You were an avenger for God’s sake, why were you close to tears at the idea of penne pasta.

‘How about you at least come up near the food, the smell might change your mind’

So against your better internal judgement you did. It was a short ride up, but as soon as you entered the floor, the smell hit you like a truck. And it was delicious

‘Here come close, the only thing that’s going to bite is you, hopefully at least’ he joked and you laughed. So you walked up next to the bowl and just stared at it. And it was here, staring at the bowl, that you felt it. The absolute hunger trying to speak over the roar of your inner voice trying to tell you that you didn’t need food and over the ‘nausea’.

‘Take a bite y/n. Just one’ he suggested, even handing you the fork. So you did that, just one bite.

‘One more bite’ smiled Steve. So you did. And it happened again and again until the whole thing was gone

‘That wasn’t very hard, was it’ he smiled, and you smiled back.

‘I promise I’ll help you though. Help you get back to your normal self. We can start small. At least two meals a day, even if they’re just small. Trust me, you’ll be eating huge three meals a day in no time’ and you believed him.


	2. Tony Stark - Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark would want you to sleep

Sleeping wasn’t exactly something you were good at. Hell, it was barely something you did. It wasn’t on purpose, you did love sleep after all. Sometimes you were just stuck in your work and suddenly the sun was in your eyes. 

Other times you tried, but you just lay there, wide awake and staring at your ceiling for hours on end. You were tired, but your body just didn’t want to shut down. 

You ad tried the lot, keeping away from devices, meditation, even lavender oils, but no matter how hard you tried, you could hardly ever get to sleep for hours or unless you straight up passed out from exhaustion.

That was just issues you had getting to sleep.

Sometimes you would wake up multiple times in the middle of the night. Some nights you’d get back to sleep, other night you wouldn’t be so lucky. Your sleep was broken and cut short most nights to the point where it felt like you didn’t get any sleep at all, so you just didn’t bother.

But it was your second day without sleep when someone began to notice.

You were in the kitchen. A darkness settling over the countertops, the only light from the somehow still vibrant city at the early hour of four in the morning.

You didn’t really like your view from your window, it was straight at another building. Here you could see all the lights, the orange glow comforting you, and it was bliss. You did hate how little sleep you got, but this could make it all worth it. Watching the sky fade from black to a colourful burst of oranges and pinks before fading into the pale morning blue.

The display seemed to last for hours yet always feel a little too short and it always made you feel better after yet another night without going to bed. The moment seemed to exist outside of time itself and you knew only a lucky few would be up to witness the moment, making it seem special, like the entire sky was lighting up, not for the new day, but for you.

It was a short lived moment of peace, but one you craved often. And right now, you felt the most peace you had felt in a long time

Until you heard someone cough behind you.

You turned around so fast you were surprised your neck didn’t snap. It was just Tony but he was giving you a knowing look

‘What are you doing up so late, or should I say early?’ he asked, grabbing something out of the fridge and coming to sit down beside you

‘Could ask you the same’ you shot back, clearly avoiding the question. You couldn’t talk to Tony about your sleeping issue, he wasn’t exactly good at it himself, and he already had enough problems with to himself to be worrying about you as well.

‘That’s fair. I know I'm not the best role model for good sleep but that doesn’t mean you should follow my example’

‘I just like to look at the lights’ you lied

‘Almost every night for the past month?’ you looked at him shocked. ‘FRIDAY told me’

‘Traitor’ you said to the AI but you got no reply

‘You need sleep’ he stated

‘I know, it’s just hard, like…’ you trailed off, unable to articulate why you couldn’t sleep.

How could you even begin to explain this exhaustion you felt, even the fatigue that plagued you when you got a healthy amount of sleep. You couldn’t find the words in your head, let alone say them out loud and even begin to make sense

‘Like your heads buzzing with activity so there’s no way you can possibly sleep when there’s all these things to do. And other times there’s absolutely nothing but your brain is still processing absolutely nothing over and over again. Then when you finally do sleep, it feels like you aren’t even sleeping, just tossing and turning. Or you end up waking up at some ungodly hour anyway’ he finished and took a sip of his coffee that he somehow got in his hand

‘You know you probably shouldn’t drink coffee at this time of night’ you said, electing to ignore his very well made point about how he understood your troubles more than anyone.

‘Look I know this is like one alcoholic telling another alcoholic to cut back on their drinking, but you should get more sleep. You don’t want to get to my age and be as unhealthy as me’ he said, practically drowning in his self-pity

‘It’s a bit late for that’

‘Kid, you’ve got years to sort out your mess of a life, don’t give up hope now just cause it’s kinda hard’ he said, forcing you to meet his eye

There was a pause

‘Take your own advice then’

‘What?’

‘It’s not exactly too late for you either. You’re fifty not dying’ you both laughed at that

‘If I try to get better, will you promise to put in the effort too?’ he asked and you nodded. ‘Okay, I will. I’ll stop drinking coffee at stupid o’clock and when I go to bed, i’ll stay there until I fall alseep or until whenever is considered a healthy hour to wake up. Whichever comes last. Because apparently even just lying in bed, completely still will have the same effects of going to sleep, so it’s better to do that than spend you awake hours busying yourself with work’ he said casually

‘Good’

‘As long as you do to. You stay in bed, whether you have a good night of sleep or not and we go to be at normal hours in the evening, not the morning. Deal?’ he held out his hand, putting down his mug.

For a moment you just stared at his hand, then you took it

‘Deal’ you whispered. But he grabbed your arm and pulled you close into a tight hug

‘You need sleep kiddo. You need to take care for yourself. You mean a lot to the team and that means we want to see you healthy. I hope you know that we’re here to help with anything, whenever you need it. So if you have trouble sleeping after the next week still, come to me’

‘I will’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter, little bit short but knew I had to do it because it can be such a huge issue that is becoming way too normalised as just teen culture. So I hope some people can relate and it means so much to me when you guys comment either about how my stories are relatable for you or you just want to vent about something in the comments. Being an advocate for normalising the people who go through these kind of issues and also helping them is what I do so it's amazing to get that kind of positive feedback because It means I'm doing a good job and yes I am helping people (even if it just end up being one person)


	3. Bucky Barnes - Meds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of depression and anxiety, dark and Mildly suicidal themes (very mild, don't worry)

You had been curled up in bed for days now. Your meds had run out. You had been meaning to get out of bed and get them, but you couldn't bring yourself to leave. A few days ago, you had dressed up to go out and get them and everything, an email from your pharmacy letting you know you needed to go and collect them. But just before you were about to leave, something stopped you. You couldn’t move, let alone walk out of the building. You were exhausted simply by the thought.

You didn’t want to ask one of the others to get them for you. They didn’t know you took them and you kinda wanted to keep it that way. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of this thing you had to deal with, you had the pretty mature outlook that this was a part of you, but didn’t define you and shouldn’t be seen as something bad or dirty. But you knew not everyone had that outlook, and it felt better to just keep it to yourself.

Besides, there was no need to tell anyone, they didn’t have to know. You figured they took some kind of medication too, but that was for things like PTSD. They had experiences that warranted those kinds of medications. You were just messed up.

You were weak. Bed ridden from things that you knew were just in your head.

Even though you’d only been diagnosed for a couple of years, you could barely remember a time when you didn’t have these thoughts in your head and unwarranted fear at tiny things that seemed trivial to others.

Eventually you decided you needed to leave at some point, even just to eat. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave the tower and replenish your meds, but you knew you could start small at least.

It was kind of late, not too late, but there was definitely no one and about. You had no clue how you started thinking about it, but somehow you found yourself spiralling. Convincing yourself you were weak. That you didn’t deserve to be here, among the mightiest human and extraterrestrials on earth.

Your heartbeat picked up significantly and the world began closing in and becoming dark. Seconds could have passed or hours and you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. You grabbed onto something, anything and was surprised to feel...metal?

‘Hey, it’s okay. Take a deep breath’ you heard. Bucky. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and you closed your eyes, just trying to focus on him instead of your racing heart.

‘Just focus on me. You can hear my heart right, try matching your breathing to it’ he suggested. It was a little quick, but it was slower than the current rate you were breathing at, and it gave you something specific to focus on.

‘Yeah that’s it. Think about five things you can feel. My arm, my clothes, the floor. Anything. Just keep focusing on me and what you can feel, okay? Just count in your head or focus on matching your breathing to something’ he continued to ramble and you slowly became aware that he was slowly rubbing your back, your head nestled under his chin.

Slowly but surely, you calmed down and became embarrassingly aware that you were still clutching Bucky. You quickly stepped away from him and tried apologising for your outburst, but he just stepped closer and gave you another hug

‘It’s okay you know. To have panic attacks and anxiety and the rest of it’

‘Well, It’s alright for you guys to have it, but I barely join you on missions and things, and this has been around since before I joined the team. I don’t have an excuse’ you said quietly.

‘You don’t need an excuse. Sometimes it just happens to people and you can’t explain it. You are extraordinary, no matter what. You aren’t any less because you experience these things. If anything you’re stronger than any of us. When we get up in the morning, we have to face villains, the press, haters, fans, each other...but you have to face yourself. The strength you have to do that will trump ours every time because that strength can only be earnt in times of absolute hardship and is built up everyday. No one knows what that’s like. We can fight the same person a hundred times over but it could never compare to the fight you have every day.

‘And you know what? I’m proud of you. I’m so unbelievably proud of you. Because so many people lose that fight. But you’re still here. I know you haven’t won yet, there might be days where you thought you won only to have it come back and challenge you again but you’ve made it this far haven’t you. Every time you feel yourself struggling, just make it until the end of the day. Every day when you wake up, tell yourself that and one day you won’t have to remind yourself. I swear. And i’ll be here no matter what. It doesn’t matter why you have these issues, just that you try to fight it. Please. Even if not for yourself, but for everyone who loves you. For me’ that was when you heard him sob. You had no idea he would be so affected by this.

Would everyone feel this way?

‘Am I really that important to you?’ you asked. You meant it to be an internal thought but it came out before you could stop it.

He forced you back so you could look him in the eyes. They were already red and most of his face was wet from tears.

‘You mean so much to me, to everyone. You have no idea do you. You’re this ray of sunshine in all of your lives and you brighten up everyone’s day. It doesn’t matter if we’re sad or angry, you make everyone so happy. We all just want to return the favour. Please never question our love for you because you’ll get some very offended Avengers declaring their love for you in the middle of the night’ he joked. And by some miracle you laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short one but still important (also this went kind of in the more depression and anxiety side but I guess I was really projecting on this chapter. Anyway, take your meds kids and if anyone needs help/advice/someone to vent to, my inbox is always open :)


	4. Thor - Proud

You were no artist. Definitely not, but you certainly loved doing it. Sometimes it was to give you something to do with your hands, other times you were just feeling spontaneous and creative. But it was certainly your secret and you would die of shame if any of the others found out.

You were the sciencey person. Pretty smart and tech savvy, not an artist.

It was a day when everyone was supposed to be out. You managed to secretly buy a huge canvas, it was probably half the size of one of your walls and next to you, were buckets of paint and other painting tools. You had laid out tarp everywhere to protect the walls.

And then for the next hour, you threw the paint everywhere. If there was white on the canvas, then there was an issue, even if one colour was covering to wide a surface area. It was a huge stress reliever. That was all it was for you cause you definitely weren’t putting effort into making it look good or anything. You tried things to. Used it as a chance to experiment with your artistic abilities.

By the time it was done, you were very out of breath.

‘Lady y/n, you have painted quite a masterpiece’ Thor shouted, exiting the elevator, almost making you jump enough to ruin your hard work.

‘Oh it’s nothing, just a little hobby of mine’ you said quickly, thinking of how you could either cover up your work or get him out of here.

‘What are you talking about, it’s really quite beautiful. It belongs in uh, what do you call them? Buildings full of art’ he said

‘An art gallery?’

‘Yes, exactly. It’s truly magnificent. Come we must show the others’ he said, moving to leave the room

‘No Thor, it’s really fine, they don’t need to come see it, it’s not that great. There are people far better than me’

‘Why does someone else’s skill devalue your own?’

‘Well…how about I just show you where I get my inspiration from’ You said, grabbing your portfolio. It was filled with collages of other artist’s works and then usually a photo of your own rendition. 

‘Where are all these pieces that you’ve done’

‘Storage, where they belong. It would be a bit weird if I hung up my own art in here and I’m not going to subject the others to looking at them in other places in the tower’ you laughed. ‘I think in another life I could have really made something of myself. If I had more time to get better and work at it, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I mean, how could I ever be as good as these people’

‘Why do you have to be one of the best to take pride in your work and show it to others’

‘Because, my work can be super personal so putting it out there to be judged is kinda like they’re judging me as well. Also if they don’t like it? They would wonder why I even tried to put myself at the same level as these other amazing artists. So it’s just better not to try’

‘Well you know, if someone gave me two cakes and one was tall and intricately designed and the other was small and plain, I would not ridicule the small cake because it was bad, I would be delighted that I had been given two cakes. The only one who is so critical of yourself is you. Your work is incredible, whether it’s better or worse than others. Take pride in what you do, whether it’s good or bad. You’re not being arrogant, you’re being confident’ he stated

‘But-’ you started but he cut your off

‘Anyway who cares if it’s not good. Do you remember any time someone ahs made a fool of themselves. No, because no one remembers. The worst that can happen is people laugh and then forget about it. But the best? The best is that you took a chance to be proud of something you created. Do you know how difficult it is, not just to fathom some kind of idea or concept inside the bubble of your own head, but then to use your own hands, these hands to create that image. It’s astounding and even if at the end of the day, you are genuinely no good, you must give yourself a try or you will let the effort and time spent on all of your creations go to waste. Come now, pack away your supplies and I shall take you to a market to buy ice cream and films. It is my understanding that this is a tradition among some of you Midgardians when you are feeling sad’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, another kinda short one but what I think is an important message. You don't have to be good at something to do it. Sing badly, make even worse art. If you're happy when you do it, go for it and anyone who tells you to stop can go where the sun don't shine :)


	5. Natasha Romanoff - Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mildly (emotionally and physically) abusive parents. It's more on the emotional side but there is a moment nearer the end more on the physical side

‘Hey you’re parents are alive right?’ you heard Tony shout from across the room

‘Tony!’ scolded Steve

‘What, i’m pretty sure she’s the only one’ reasoned Tony

‘Uh, yeah, they’re alive but-’

‘Great they can come around for our press event in about a week. Okay?’

‘Um, about that. I haven’t exactly talked to them in...a while’ you said, your cheeks flushing at the sudden attention

‘Well how long is a while?’ asked Wanda

‘About, five years before I came here’ you muttered quietly

‘You haven’t talked to your parents in almost 10 years. But you’re not even thirty yet?’ Asked Steve, his eyes going wide

‘Uh, yeah. We just didn’t get on. I guess I never did tell you guys. For those five years, since I couldn’t earn enough to get my own place cause I was only like, sixteen, I just kind lived in warehouses and stuff’ you said.

‘But why did they kick you out?’ asked Clint

‘They didn’t, I left’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t really want to talk about this anymore, I’m just gonna go to my room now, bye’ and without another word, you ran from the room and asked FRIDAY to not let anyone disturb you.

Of course you should have known you couldn’t keep out Natasha.

‘So what happened between you and your parents’ you heard behind you, causing you to jump off your bed and whip around to see Natasha standing there

‘How did you even get in here?’ you asked as all the windows, vents and doors were in your eye line

‘That doesn’t matter, answer the question please’ she asked again, a little more sincere this time. You nodded and motioned for her to sit down.

‘My parents aren’t bad people as such. They’re actually quite lovely, even to me. But for as long as I could remember they would say things, or tell me through their actions you know’

‘What would they say?’ she urged

‘Just little things like suggesting I’d be prettier or smarter if I just did things slightly differently. I was kinda belittled a lot, they even outright told me they wished they never had me. They apologised later, but it still hurt. Other than that, they never said anything outright, but it was just lots of little condescending words or the fact that I could be out of the house at any point and I wouldn’t get so much as a text to see if I was okay. Sometimes it just got too much and I would stay at a friends house. But when I was sixteen I decided enough was enough. I obviously had nowhere to stay so I was on the streets for two years before I got a job. Even then, it wasn’t like I could afford anything and it just kind of stuck. Until Tony found me at least’ you said quietly.

All was quiet for a moment, until she pulled you into a tight hug. She knew what it was like to feel completely without family. She didn’t know how it felt to be betrayed by the few people she thought she could keep close, but she knew how it felt to have no one close at all.

‘Did you tell them about any of this when you left’

‘Kind of, I left them a note, but that was it’ you admitted

‘Well, you know they probably miss you a lot. Invite them over. Worst comes to worse, we have to ask them to leave. Or you could give them a chance to apologise. Forgive them and you can get what the rest of us don’t even have a chance at having. A real family’

You paused. You knew she was right, but you didn’t know if you even had the strength to forgive them. But as Natasha said, the rest of the avengers would be there. 

‘Fine, but I don’t even know if I’ll be able to find them’ you admitted

‘How about we leave Tony and FRIDAY to that’ she replied. 

The week went by far too quickly for your liking and before you knew it, the elevator doors were opening on your parents and Tony who had graciously picked them up from the airport.

You froze, only looking at them and every avenger could feel the tension in the room

‘Hi honey’ said your mum quietly

‘Hi mum, hi dad’ you said, equally quietly

‘You’ve done quite well for yourself here’

‘It took quite a bit of work and bad experiences first’ you said, remembering your years of being homeless because of how much you couldn’t stand them. Even now, you knew you wouldn’t trade those years for anything if it meant having to be around them for a second longer

‘We’re sorry’ said your mum suddenly, making you look up in confusion. You’re mum had never apologised to you for anything, not even small things when she was clearly in the wrong. ‘We shouldn’t have treated you like that, it was wrong and we didn’t listen when you tried to reach out to us’

‘We talked long and hard about this, and we want you back, if you’ll have us’ finished your dad. You stopped.

You felt like you could cry. It was the apology you had always been hoping for. It was the one things you’d wanted for years and years. And now you had it. You looked at Natasha and she gave you a small encouraging smile which was all the confidence you needed.

‘I forgive you’ you said meekly. Everyone smiled at that and the tension seemed to melt as you walked over and hugged your parents for the first time in years. 

‘Now, we’ll be able to stay for a few days so we can catch up with your...friends another night but tonight we want to have a dinner with just the three of us’ said your mum hopefully. Of course you still felt a tiny bit of natural apprehension, but you agreed and before you knew it, you were in the middle of the main course of some random restaurant a block down.

‘You really have done quite well for yourself you know. We’re proud of you’ said your dad

‘Yeah, well it wasn’t easy. Anyway, how have things been with you guys...with John’ John was your little brother by about five years. He was one of the only reasons you stayed as long as you did.

‘Not very good. You see after you left, John had to work quite hard to support the family, even though both your father and I were working. I guess we messed up somewhere with him too and he left, about a year ago. We haven’t heard from him, but it’s just been one downhill spiral’ there was a tense silence in the air

‘Part of the reason we were so eager to see you, was to see if you could help us in any way, seeing as your friends with a billionare and all’ your dad joked, but you didn’t laugh

‘You came here to ask for money. After everything that’s happened’ you said bluntly

‘Well it’s hardly like that. More like some sort of thank you for all those thing we did do right for you. A nice place to live, good food, a good school. You know not many kids get those opportunities’ your mother said, slipping back into that all too familiar condescending tone

‘Those are basic things any good parent should do for their child and I think putting up with your shit for as long as I did was payment enough don’t you think?’ you said icily

‘Now come one honey, I think you’re being a little ungrateful here. We gave you so much-’ you dad started, but you cut him off

‘I didn’t ask for those things, and for everything you gave me, there was a comment about needing me to pay you back one day or the fear that it would later be used against me. Turns out I was right. Pay your own damn bill and don’t contact me again unless it’s about John’ you said, getting up and leaving. You vaguely heard one of them get up behind you but you didn’t stop to check.

Then as soon as you were outside, your mother grabbed onto your arm forcefully. You were still. Back to being that small little girl. How even though you'd never been hit, there was still that fear that it could happen at any point.

You couldn’t move and simply prepared yourself for some kind of blow and angry remark. But none came. Instead, Natasha Romanoff was there, removing your mothers hand and Steve Rogers restraining her. Even Tony in the iron man suit, ready to step in to deal with your father. While the two began to likely threaten your parents, Natasha pulled you aside into a deep hug, a relatively abnormal act for her.

‘I’m sorry for pushing you to this. I just never had parents so I guess I couldn’t comprehend the idea that some parents aren’t redeemable sometimes. But I know now. I won’t ever do anything like that again, okay?’

‘Natasha, it’s alright. I am glad I got this closure. To know that they really were shitty and it wasn’t some kind of mistake’ you confessed

‘I know I said it’s strong to forgive, but I think it’s stronger to admit that sometimes people are beyond it and it’s alright to let them go. I can find your brother for you and he can come meet everyone and he’ll go through us before he gets to you’

And right then, you had never felt more loved and cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a longer one caused it's really close to home. I just wrote this from a perspective of an older me being able to move on but a lot of this is based on real conversation or things I had/have to go through. Though I've never slept in warehouses, I've slept on park benches and friends houses numerous times. But I know it could never be bad enough to warrant any kind of action so I just have to bear it until I can finally leave. If anyone has similar stories, experiences or maybe this has made them think they made have some iffy parents, my inbox is always open to talk :)


	6. Bruce Banner - Relax

‘Hey y/n, you gonna have dinner with us?’ called out Steve as you walked past him serving up dishes of his famous carbonara.

‘Sorry Steve, got way too much work to be done. Might just grab something later’ you called out behind you, already frantic to get back to your work. Unfortunately, through a mixture of genuine lack of time, and neglect to prioritise your tasks, you were stressed beyond belief.

Fury needed paperwork from you, you had meetings and conferences to arrange for Avengers damage control and an endless number of things you’d promised to do or with the others.

If you were being honest with yourself though, you liked the stress because you felt guilty and lazy when you took time for yourself. So here you were in a prison of your own making. You’d say that it was light before you knew it but you were guiltily aware of the time passing. Conflicted between knowing you need sleep and needing to finish the seemingly endless amount of tasks.

And then you continued, moving around the various facilities, but still keeping yourself away from the others so as to keep yourself from getting distracted.

You felt completely fried and you couldn’t ignore your hunger anymore. So, being the ever brilliant multi-tasker you were, you went into the kitchen as fast as you with your eyes still glued to your phone, not allowing yourself to stop working and look away from the hundreds of emails in your inbox. You were just going to grab a muffin or something and get right back to your study but you collided head on with someone, the muffin you had grabbed smashing on the floor, along with your phone.

You stared at the scene for a few moments and then the person you collided with spoke up

‘Are you alright y/n?’ you looked up to see it was Bruce. He looked a little scared, probably from the fact that you looked a little psychotic and you normally you would have felt bad. But unfortunately you just kind of lost it, the stress of your life finally catching up with you.

‘No Bruce I’m not alright. I have way too many things to do for the others, because they have way too many damn weapons and protective gear they want not only to be fixed but to be improved. Fury’s on my ass about a bunch of goddamn paperwork about something that I can now barely remember. And because all of them up there are idiots, I have to talk with an endless stream of reporters and international representatives to assure them that the avengers are apologetic for the damage caused and that some kind of recovery team is being put in place. So yeah I’m pretty not alright!’ you rant, and by the time you’re finished, you’re breathing heavily and your heart feels like it’s beating out of it’s chest. There are small tears forming in your eyes from all the stressful emotions rushing to the surface, but you fight them back.

Once you’d gotten it out of your system like that, you realised just how much of a bitch you sounded.

‘God, Bruce I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-’

‘It’s alright, I can tell you’re a little stressed out. I’m just glad you let it out on me and not Natasha or something’ he joked and you managed to smile a little, despite feeling totally drained now.

‘Yeah. Okay, well thanks for being cool about it. I’ve got to get back to work now and sort all this out’ you said gesturing back to your completely smashed phone.

‘Hey, just take a second to breathe. Let’s think logically, yeah? It’s a Stark Industries phone right? So Tony will get a new and probably better and more smash resistant one and all your stuff saved to his cloud, so no loss there. We’ll get people to deal with the reporters, that shouldn't fall onto you and I’m not sure how it did but we’ll sort it out. As for the weapons, the others can sort themselves out at least for the next few days. And you’re not the only one who knows how to fix their stuff so we’ll just redistribute the tasks. And I’m sure someone can help with the paperwork until you’re back on top of things. Does that help?’ he said, rationalising every issue you were dealing with.

And suddenly, now that someone had actually looked at each problem and that of a logical solution, you didn’t feel as stressed and worried, only exhausted.

‘Yes. That helps a lot’ you smiled weakly

‘Alright. I’ll let the others now later, but for now, let me show you how I destress when things get very bad’ he smiled and told you to go to your own floor. He would meet you there, he just had to grab some things.

He showed up about ten minutes later with what looked like a kind of small apple box filled with things.

‘Now, it’s very important that no one else find out about these because they would either make fun of me or steal my stuff for themselves’ he joked, putting the box down in front of you. ‘It’s basically a little care package. Go have a long hot shower and use all this stuff. I’ve got face masks, little snacks and other just kind of, what did Peter call it? ‘Basic white girl’ stuff? Whatever it was, it helps more than you realise.’

‘Okay, but why the apple box and fancy decoration?’

‘Well the more special you make it, the more it feels like you’re treating yourself. All I’m telling you to do is get clean, watch a movie and eat. But if you make it into an evening and treat it like some kind of fancy spa get away, it feels like it’s doing more good, and then it actually will do more good, mentally you know?’ he said, smiling kindly at you.

‘Wow that actually makes a lot of sense’ you replied

‘I’ll leave you to it then. No one will bother you until tomorrow evening for dinner and even then you can tell them to get lost. You take the time to chill out and when you’re ready to get back to working, we’ll talk about making sure this doesn’t happen again, and distributing some of your tasks. Cause I know everyone would be happy to help out so that you don’t burn out. You’re no use to anyone, especially yourself, when you work too hard’

And with that, he left you alone and true to his word, no one bothered you until the following evening. You decided to have dinner with everyone and mercifully no one mentioned anything about your minor disappearance and you were allowed to retreat again for another day or two without much trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter also I am so sorry for my super long hiatus, lots of work. But I've realised writing improves my mental health so much so I'm gonna have multiple fics, continue some old ones, post even older ones that I got half way through and even start one or two new ones so go check out my page cause I'm branching into a few other fandoms as well. Otherwise, let me know what you think and if you have any requests or feedback :)

**Author's Note:**

> So that was the first chapter, i hope you guys enjoyed it and of course, each experience is different, this is just mine and how i'm currently getting through my eating issues (it's an uphill battle but things are looking good at rhe moment I hope). Comment below what you thought and maybe your own expericnes if you have one :)


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